When was the last time you were given some solid, “real” advice regarding relationships? Honestly, never. Our literature books have never been helpful enough and neither (most of us) can look up to Mommy, Daddy for some inspiration. Of course, nobody teaches us ‘how to be a good partner’, we need to become one on our own. Relationships are a trial-and-error thing and in most cases, it’s an error and that’s alright. But, the trouble begins when you start seeing your mate as your possession instead of your emotional support. And, start adopting some really unhealthy habits and doings that can take you to the “high-risk” zone.

Fortunately, there has been a bunch of researches going on for a quite long on this subject. And, it has been found that some ages old notions which are viewed as “romantic” are actually unhealthy. Keep reading to learn more about them.

1. Keeping a “scoreboard”.

Keeping track of all the past wrong doings of your partner and reminding them of that is actually a thing. Like, you casually hugged a female acquaintance of yours, back in 2000 whatever, and are still reminded of that? But it’s alright, as she went out for lunch with her ex. Scores settled, right? No, absolutely not. By all this, your relationship is merely turning into a conflict of “who screwed up the most?”. Eventually, you’re spending up all your energy on proving who’s more blameworthy, instead of figuring out a solution for the current problem. And somehow, trying to tell each other how you are less wrong with each other, rather than being more right for each other.

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2. Their emotions, your responsibility.

If your partner is having a bumpy day, they expect you to be a tad bit more supportive and nice to them. But in some way, you fail to make up for their expectations. That is when they unleash their ‘beasts of anger’ on you, simply because you didn’t do anything about their crappy emotional state. Blaming your partner for your mood swings is an elusive sort of selfishness. By doing so, you two are becoming co-dependent. From reading books to going out for dinner, everything you do has to be discussed and compromised. The greatest issue with developing such attitude is that it breeds resentment. If this happens once in a while, it’s understandable. But if it’s an all time thing, you seriously need to make out something about it.

Image source: GIPHY

3. Jealous 101.

Getting jealous of your partner for being nice to someone else is something that takes place in every relationship. It’s quite acceptable and to an extent adorable even. But, too much of all this can end up with you getting angry at your partner and trying to take a command over their behavior. This can lead-in to you spying on your mate, unnecessarily. Usually, such tendencies are taken as a display of affection, and it is inferred that if they aren’t jealous, they don’t love you at all. This leads up to unnecessary drama and arguments. Such gestures convey a negative message to your partner, mostly that they are not trustworthy enough.

Image source: GIPHY

4. Covering it up.

You took in a major fight with your mate and rather than thinking of a proper solution, you simply bought a gift for them or took them on a small trip to cover your mistake. By doing so, you’re not only taking the current situation in a light way, but also are setting up precedents about your relationship. This shapes as an unconscious inducement for one person for digging out more reasons to fight, with the other person being left with nothing but accountable for the problems that are in the relationship. In the end, you end up with one person becoming an ATM and other as a perpetually bitter fellow, who is always left unheard.

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5. That ‘Emotional blackmailing’ game is on, forever.

It may happen sometimes that your partner is upset because of something you did and want you to realize that. But instead of stating that straight away, they start blackmailing you by threatening the commitment of the relationship. This ultimately results into suspicion and manipulation. Every bump on the road of the relationship turns into a comprehended commitment issue. It’s important for both the parties to know that negative thoughts and feelings can be talked about, without posing as a menace to the relationship itself.

Image source: GIPHY

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